How do I even start? It’s been a while since I wrote. Anything. It’s not that I’ve had nothing to say, but more that what I want to say is sometimes, not worth saying. The voice in my head, has been negative and toxic.
So I broke up with it. I need a new start. I’ve needed it for a while. How it happened is not important, but living with a situation that causes so much disfunction, is not easy or fun. Some of you can relate.
I recently read an article about someone experiencing life differently than they hoped. Big disappointments. Vastly different outcomes than they thought they’d go through and now, on the other side, living a life they don’t recognize.
I don’t have all the answers, in fact, I didn’t have answers for myself. I knew what was wrong, and I knew I didn’t like what was happening, (to me or my walk through life) I didn’t like the results and I wasn’t sure when it would stop.
Maybe you are right there. In the middle of the struggle. Disappointed with yourself and your choices, and the things that aren’t your choices. Maybe the hope is gone. Maybe the love is gone. Maybe all the good choices have been erased and all that’s left is the legacy of the bad choices.
What I can offer you, today, is that you are not alone. I have been in your shoes. I have walked the road alone and I have made bad decisions. I am just like you. I lost hope, I lost love, and I lost my ability to see how any of this would get any better. It’s ok. You won’t continue alone. There is a whole community of like-minded gals & guys who are rooting for you, who’s heart breaks when yours does and who really, really wants the best for you, especially when you can’t see it for yourself.
Spring is a new beginning. I’m embracing it and willing to let the newness of this season wrap me in sunny-ness. Maybe the outside will help heal the inside.